a story in pictures: graduation

stories in books are often boring without pictures. and since there's nothing much to tell about this story other than...it happened! i will show you my collages of it and hope you enjoy.

so...ONCE UPON A TIME...

THE END

or is it?

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.

Maria Robinson

Happy New Year Everyone.

Explanation

why did i have to change my blog address? let's just say the world is full of bad guys. it's really not important the in depth story but just a warning to all you young girls out there; don't always trust people the way you wish you could. not everyone is deserving of that pure trust that you are capable of giving them. they will misuse it. and when that happens, your privacy and sometimes your safety are at risk. you will get hurt.

there is some very personal information on my blog that if you compiled it all you could totally make a stalker profile for me. you can even find out where i live if you tried hard enough. so because there are evil people out there who i would like to avoid and divert, i am going to attempt to remove all personal info like that, also avoid personal stuff that could be potentially harming and i am also asking something of you. please, if you know me personally don't link yourself to my blog. i know that sounds kind of snobbish but if one of those people who are the cause for my needing to change my blog address are also reading your blogs, and you're connected to mine...i'll just have to keep changing the URL which you have no idea is a HUGE pain in my rear end.

so keep my interests at heart; this really doesn't apply to those people who don't know me personally {in which case a shoutout to those readers, i seriously love your guts, because not only do you read my thoughts but i read your blogs as well and enjoy all of them!}

anyway; be careful with other people's privacy, don't do drugs...eat your vegetables...you know the routine ;P

Thanks everyone!

attention!

i have to change my blog address. if you would like to continue reading my blog, please email me at mossflowergirl@gmail.com. I'll wait a while of course so that anyone who wants can get this message but about a week from today this blog will no longer be accessible via this URL. sorry, thanks again for reading!

Today, Things are Looking Up.

First: my friend came to early morning seminary. he even ate his eggs raw so he would be there on time. he's one of the most amazing people I've ever met.

Second: the history/political science test I was stressed about was a piece of cake. Thank you Mr. Haymond for drilling those theories and ideas into me so I don't even have to study for this class.

Third: I have friends in Paige and Jess. We altos? yah, we rock. Oh and Joe's hugs are wonderful pick-me-ups.

Fourth: Lunch time was just fun, with my friend's younger brother eating with us it was cool to just see those two bouncing off each other. I like seeing siblings who are friends in and outside of school. Also Libby's attempts to warm up Seth's peach...ha. Oh the lovely things of life (:

Fifth: my apple was so big, it could even have been used to show the size of my brain, that's how big it was. not even joking - please believe me. it was maximus (:

Sixth: in Andrews' class I got the assignment done with plenty of time to spare. that's always nice not having homework.

Seventh: Mr. Bills will find a surprise for him when he gets back to his choir room. I'm excited to hear about that one... (:

Eighth: watching fiddler was extremely enjoyable being surrounded by friends who appreciate all the same things that I do. It's surprising to notice what a difference that makes, that instead of friends teasing your likes and etc., they are agreeing with you. It's a good feeling.

Ninth: I'm going on a date tonight.

Life is always better when you look upward instead of downwards. Yesterday I changed my blog's title in case you didn't notice...{yah, blind much if you didn't notice?} It's from a talk from the last conference. I love it. Yesterday I wrote at least six different posts just about how disappointed I was about the day...but didn't post them. Today...there were downs to it, but it's always just better to focus on those things that will lift rather than drag.

Life is still good. Life is truly beautiful, even in it's hurts and sorrows.

{post script}: I now have sixteen followers! (: my goal of having 20 by the end of the school year is seeming more and more possible each time I see those numbers change (: thank you readers for...ha, reading. it means a lot to me that my thoughts, my words mean something to another person, even if it is just a passing thought.

7 things to change.

seven because it's a cool number and ten is too many. but seven? just right.

1.) stop using smiley faces (: to express how you are feeling. if your words don't say it, then change your words. and don't do "haha" either. words, words, words.

2.) think about other people. you are too focused on your own loneliness, lack of friends, boredom, life...whatever it is, its about you. make it about someone else. charity.

3.) have an irresistible tan by the beginning of school.

4.) get a job. anywhere.

5.) start saving 40% of your money for a digital camera. this also includes giving up hope of trying not to copy your siblings and their passions for photography. it's genetic, give up.

6.) correct your horrid boredom enticed addiction to facebook.

7.) wardrobe: drab and all comfortable to vintage and comfortable. and modest. always modest. and don't worry...wearing a skirt to school? guess what, after nine years in a uniform you already know it won't kill you.

due date: august 23, 2011.

good luck.

kaylla

too busy to blog

gonna be gone for a while - my mom is disconnecting the internet, and i don't know how long it will take for her to set it up again with another company that reaches down there. hopefully i'll be able to write again soon, but who knows, with unpacking and everything it's unlikely. if anyone needs to contact me pretty sure the important people have my cell # and if not...well...oh well for you (:

but hey if you do have my cell # and are bored...pretty sure i'll appreciate anyone who texts me - totally open to the idea in other words. dont be a stranger (:

kaylla

I'm Sorry.

No scenario, no background, no nothing because I'm just not going to divulge that - but anyone who has read my blog previously, maybe you will notice that certain posts are gone. That is not because I was scared into deleting them, it was not because someone hacked my account. It's because they no longer needed to be read - because they were all based on lies. Lies that I took for truth instead of going to the source.

I think I have finally learned that lesson...that's for sure. All the jazz and junk I have been writing was hardly ever anyone else's fault - but my own. I apologize for any misgivings I have had towards other persons...I hope they...realize how sad I am about that...and how much I hate all the times that I didn't trust their words over another's lies.

I'm also going to warn against gossip in this post. It's all that cruddy stuff that started this junk. I listened to all the little things I hear around and I let it get to me. I was so...STUPID. There are so many words I could use, and am using to describe myself right now for how dumb and horrible I have been - but I won't write that here. Just apologizing for all the mean and hurtful, horrible things I have said.

I made mis-judgments too. I have used words I didn't understand, like "perverted" to describe people, when I should have been less judgmental, and more open-minded to the differing beliefs of others. Not everyone is as closed-minded and childish as I am and I am sorry. I'm sorry a million times over.

I've been a jerk and made judgment calls on people who have been nothing but forgiving and kind to me - and if ever we had misunderstandings, they were my fault or through differing ideals of right and wrong, etc.

I have been a horrible friend this past year as well. Unintentionally - but all the same. I subconsciously used some of the best people I have ever known. I have called people names, I have viciously held others to my high standards and then condemned them accordingly. I'm sorry...

I have been changeable too. I have been happy about things and the way they are, and I have been angry and I have been sad - never just one, and never making up my mind; constantly changing with the weather of the drama around me. Drama...that I so willingly and subconsciously created myself. I have detached myself from people and then told them that I miss them. I have told people that I want to see them, then avoided them. It's been stupid and childish and wretched of me!

Right now, I'm so sick of myself and my silly mistakes that I'm ready to just go to bed and hopefully...maybe it will turn into one big horrible dream and I will wake up the night after Prom night and everything will be ok, and with the memory of this horrible dream, I could make everything right again.

But it's not and I have to deal with and clean up my own stupid mess.

I'm worried that some of my friends might think I'm being a little hard on myself - please don't. Know that I am completely awake, well fed and totally sane. I have thought through the facts given me and reasoned all of this out. I haven't divulged anything new to my friends, and I don't intend to. I intend to let this story end right now. From now on I'm not going to talk to my friends about other people, if I have issues with other people - I go to the source from now on.

Ugh...and I know I've said that before - and those people whose trust I have damaged...I know that it might very well be just too late for that. I know you're mad at me. I hope someday when I have finally grown up (really grown up - not this silly stuff about feeling older and whatever) we can meet again as common friends and with smiles on our faces we can move on with our lives.

I've damaged so many good friendships this year, I've given in to so many lies, I've been so immature and stupid through this whole mess. I apologize and if you were involved, I hope you can someday forgive me. I'm sorry and I hope you believe me when I say I will never do it again; and if there really is anything I can do to make it better - to compensate for what I have said and done, please - please I ask and beg that you will tell me so that I can do it right away.

I love you...even though I haven't acted like it all the time. I hope that if no forgiveness can be found - at least there will be some understanding.

I'm sorry.

McKaylla J. White

Another Ending

School is almost over. My friend Spud (Tiffany) (check out her blog) said something about 20 more hours? Wow...next week isn't even really school even! We don't have school Monday, Tuesday is Field Day (we get to go to the canyon where we had the Media-Burning Project), Wednesday we have...one normal day - maybe...not sure, then the teachers v. boys soccer team game, then graduation...then Thursday is the last day of school...and that's it. I'll be done.

I've always hated "Goodbyes". They just seem to say - "yah goodbye! hope I never see you again!" which really isn't true - for the most part ;) jk, no it really isn't true. It seems like every time that Summer comes around you say "hey! let's stay in touch yah?" and it never happens. It's horrible because a lot of my friends this year are foreign exchange students so...it really is goodbye, if not forever, for a VERY long time. I hate it!

But then I realize that this is ALL a part of growing up. There are some things I need to talk about with some people about the coming future but for the most part I have my life planned out. School - not so sure yet...but you know what? It'll all be ok.

I think that's another hard part to saying goodbye - saying goodbye to friends and situations and lifestyles, you never know what's coming next. It's going to completely surprise you! Like a year ago - I wrote myself a letter and wrote on the envelope: Do not open until June 1st. I'm DYING to open it now :) you have NO idea. A year ago I was...a COMPLETELY different person. One thing which is CREEPY is that I told myself as a complete sarcastic joke was that I'd have a boyfriend...huh.

ANYway. After the whole jazz with tenth grade and the whole new world I've discovered this year - I'm curious as to what this new ending will introduce. I hope I don't have to say goodbye forever to certain people - But C'est la vie yah? Ugh...I'm just begging in my head for the Lord not to take this happiness away from me because of distance and separation. I STILL don't know if I'm happy to move or sad...I think I'm sad to move further away from some people and happy that I'll never see certain others again. Too bad it can't just be Happy. Sad. Done. :P

Another Ending...That's synonymous to Another Beginning. I get another chance to start over, isn't that what everyone wants? I should just be thankful, and talking to my mom about how sometimes I'm a bit bi-polar, I gotta just learn to roll with the punches. If something ends, I need to close the book and just pick up another. :)

I like how I've been feeling constantly happy recently - and not overly happy either, just...content. I thank my three closest friends for that - Madison, Nicole, and Kaytlyn. One of them is Always there for me, sometimes more than one at a time :P haha.

So Thanks to all my wonderful friends, my life really is good, I'm scared but ready I think to move on....

THE END ;)

Kaylla

Nicknames

So today in Science we were "studying" and my dear friend (ReallyShawn?) haha was writing a post about our vendetta against boys . . . well . . . in a manner of speaking. It's our cruel way of showing our love. Anyway - in the case that she does I just wanted you (whoever YOU are) to read it because it's bound to be hilarious . . . and I'm in it. And any story with me in it will be awesome and amazing right? Right. Her blog is listed in the side panel thingy - the Musings of a 100% Dork or something like that. :)

Enjoy!

PS - I know that this post had NOTHING to do with Nicknames . . . but I'm sure ReallyShawns' WILL . . . }:-)