nothing interesting. i pinky swear.

have you ever noticed that a post is usually much more interesting or inviting if you have a picture to go along with it? i have. especially on my blog dashboard reader where i can skim over the interesting titles and such of each recent post of all my blogs i follow. i usually will skip right over the ones without a picture because honestly...words are so boring looking.

so here. enjoy that.

oh and have you ever noticed the beauty of getting the things done that you said you would? take me for instance. my sprinklers spray nasty hard water all over my windshield at night and then the hard minerals get fried to the melted sand {also known as glass} and make it impossible to see and thus making it 60% more likely that i will be in an accident. but, guess who took the initiative and sprayed her windows with vinegar and then wiped them down again with windex.

i love sparkly, visible-through car windows. happiness right there.

oh and also coming home and realizing your sister gave you a drink without making you pay her for it. that was nice and very refreshing, even if it had bananas in it {because everyone knows that bananas are way too heavy to be in drinks...silly...}

and i've decided that basketball shorts and flip flops are the best combination for an afternoon off work. i didn't realize that not being able to wear shorts to work would be so hard for me. it is very very hard for me.

one of my brother's best friends and one of my best friend's brother is back from Indonesia. my family will be going to his homecoming talk this sunday and i am so very very excited. and nervous. i get nervous going to that ward due to bad memories of one red-haired boy and being surrounded by far too many cheerleaders who helped me make my life miserable.

i think that will be an interesting story. but i guess we shall see.

guess who got two dollars in tips today. yah i know not very much but it still made me happy. if i get another tip tomorrow night and the night after that i might go and buy myself a calzone. they smell good and they are much cheaper than buying a whole pizza.

getting my food handler's permit is so tedious. i hate that i had to pay $26 for that silly course.

there's going to be a meteor shower on sunday and monday night. i wish it were saturday night, because i really like watching shooting stars with my best friend.

i'm sure that those are all the random thoughts i have had today {besides the fact that i need to go do my laundry but you really didn't care to know that, did you.} so i hope you enjoyed that. and if not, that's okay too. i usually write for myself, and sometimes for you.

but today i was just writing to write.

and like i said - nothing interesting. i pinky swear.

365 posts

this is an odd experience for me. today i realized that i have 364 posts, and no more drafts because i deleted them all. which makes this one the 365th one. so...if you started reading today and only read one post a day, it would take you only a year to go through nearly three years of my life via posts.

strange that i've been at this for so long. admittedly i've changed the URL at least twice and the blog design itself probably at least twenty times but in the end it's all the same words. it's still just me...just kaylla.

and it's kind of like that quote:

"Funny how day by day nothing changes but looking back, everything's changed."

and it's so true. i still feel like kaylla. but i know that so much has changed i couldn't even hope to put my finger on all of the things. i've been broken and put back together. i've been burned and then healed. i've laughed and i've cried. i've found love a few times and lost it too. i've moved a couple times and made new friends. i've discovered friends in unlikely places and then just as unexpectedly lost them again. most importantly i have grown.

i've grown from a young girl of innocent dreams to a young woman of tall hopes. i've grown in love for my Savior and His true gospel. i've fallen in love with life and sunshine. i've discovered music in my very soul and beauty in the smile of those around me.

i know it will only keep going like this and i'm honestly so very, very excited. i'm excited where the next few years may take me. i know i will end up happy in the end although life may not go according to plan.

we can only hope our plans fall through...and many of them won't. but some of them will. i hope that in two years i will meet up with my best friend and we'll be able to honestly see where to go from there. i hope to serve a mission...and i'm pretty darn tootin' sure i'm gonna. i hope that in about four years...ish...i will be starting my own little family. i hope to be able to graduate from USU. i hope to have adventures and to see this beautiful country on my little excursions {join me sometime!}

i'll make it.

i've got the rest of my life ahead of me. i have nothing in my way to stop me but myself. life is so incredibly open to me that i couldn't possibly do anything but smile and share that happiness every single day with those around me.

so see you around

{picture 1...a long time ago..., picture 2 - sophomore year, picture three - summer of 2011, picture 4 - same and picture 5 - graduation}


{wink.}

a story in pictures: graduation

stories in books are often boring without pictures. and since there's nothing much to tell about this story other than...it happened! i will show you my collages of it and hope you enjoy.

so...ONCE UPON A TIME...

THE END

or is it?

quote #1

tis the season!

if you live in my house you know this: i listen to christmas music starting the week before halloween. go ahead, hate me. i still love you. and no, this is no excuse for my family's christmas tree to be up until my birthday {march...yah, i know right?}

so maybe i've started my christmas selection a little earlier this year; a whole half a week before the week before all hallows eve....

but that's okay. because we had fall break and even if it didn't snow, it's getting into heavy coats and cute scarves season. which reminds me, i need to find mine.

the colors this year were beautiful. down here in elk ridge the mountains are covered mostly with foliage so instead of ugly brown interspersed by the blessings of a few colors, mostly reds up north, we have splashes of color all across our mountains. at the base you have the brightest oranges and reds you have ever seen then going further up you have the yellows of birches in the valleys and the dark green evergreens at the tops of those valleys and then at the tippy-top of the mountain you have that beautiful fresh snow we got about a week and a half ago. it's beautiful to say the least. excuse my blatant bragging...i'm pretty proud of my mountains. i took this picture.

and then there are the smells. oh, the smell of rotting dead leaves is really...well, sounds horrible but it's smell is divine. go ahead and call me weird but i love it.

christmas is just around the corner. i'm already thinking about what presents to give my friends this year. i've got some great ideas. so many memories waiting to be made. oh and we have plans to go up to Temple Square too, to see the lights. i'm really excited for that one, because that is my favorite place on earth, without a doubt and without even a pause to think. i know. (:

so excuse me if my song list is mostly comprised of christmas songs, but how can i help it? i'm in love with the season. i mean, who doesn't love gingerbread and candy canes? who doesn't love a cold evening with friends singing carols and then ending up at someone's house for hot chocolate and some folk songs on the guitar {one of my favorite christmas memories as a child...}

and then...then there's the real meaning of christmas too. Christ. the celebration of His birth. it's so beautiful, that it almost takes my breath away.

maybe life is just too wonderful and good to be true right now for me, so the happiness of everything else is spilling over into my writing about the small things. anyway, i love you. i hope i've gotten you excited at least a little bit. i hope that as soon as you are done reading this you jump out of your chair {or onto youtube...whichever you prefer} and begin getting those christmas CD's out, blowing last year's dust off of them, and begin the ritual once again of christmas love and joy.

here's to the season, my dear dear friends.

PS! this halloween i'm going to be elphaba from the show wicked. or however you spell it. yes, that's right...i'm going to be green. i'm super excited. pictures will be posted.

the better sides of people ;P

i like setting a mood for my posts recently:

yesterday and today were the perfect example of what my seminary teacher said the other day. girls are like rollercoasters. wow. yesterday was exhausting but had a lot of wonderful moments...today? almost everything that could go wrong went wrong.

ultimate goal for this post is brevity; only those things upon which it is necessary to expound upon will i do so because...well lets just say the things i wish i could REALLY talk about are...not entertaining in the least. {i try to avoid woe-is-me posts in other words}

yesterday interesting experience. i went to my locker and on my way back and heading toward AP Lit upstairs i saw this kid throw off his backpack. at first i thought he was totally joking but these two kids started full out throwing punches. i ran almost right into them, and one nearly pushed the other right into me. i was so scared and traumatized that i ran as fast as i could to my class and nearly started to cry. i have never seen anyone actually fight in anger...never.

there was one moment, a lightning second where i was in the corner up against the wall before mrs dunn broke up the fight where i remember thinking, wanting, madison to be there and "save me" went through my head. because he would know what to do. maybe i was crying for more reason than one. or maybe i always felt safe around him, thus when i didn't feel safe...i thought of him. anyhow.

lucky for me i got three Brian hugs that day. i always thought cynthia gave the best hugs...and she does give amazing hugs, but i have never met anyone to beat brian for hugs. he loves hugs almost as much as i do. we are also now officially friends; facebook says so. haha

i wore colorful socks...dunno why, sometimes i'm just a weirdo i guess. singers/choir was tiring...i've just been really tired recently i guess.

lunch time: the time of day i look forward to every single day now. sometimes i dreaded it, because a lot of my friends have certain choir meetings during lunch which leaves me alone; but now i have made great friends with the boys who don't ever leave that place and i like it. in fact yesterday there were only boys in there, one girl but she was reading a book and i don't even know her name. it was just me, sean, seth and chris{topher} (: which...leads to the next story...

{sidenote: chris and seth say lunch prayers. i admire them for that. today i did too. it made my nearly drop-horrible day one good moment better...}

i was minding my own business. not really, if you know me, you know i'm nosier than an ant-eater. anyway we were talking, lots and lots, i love talking to guys - they're not... judgmental like girls are and never take offense, all of which came in handy later. this girl {don't remember her name} came dressed up as the Mad Hatter {homecoming theme is Alice in Wonderland - that day was character day} and she looked AMAZING! so seth or someone said that someone really should take a picture so i whipped mine out and took one.

then i remembered my goal to get pictures of my boys for the auction off {read about that...briefly...here - end of post} by the way for which i am adding craig because he cyber stalks me and i don't want to leave him out ;P so i told the three of the boys to pose for me. sean and chris like good boys face me and i'm ready to take a threesome shot, but seth says something about why not catch a picture of his better side so they all start turning around and as they're there like that without skipping a beat i said something to the effect of "well if that's your better side seth, would you like me to go lower?"

i didn't end up taking that picture, just so you know. or any picture for that matter. seth and i burst out laughing and once it kicked in, so did the other two. seth is the "french kissing" friend i told you about this time. i swear we were both so red in the face and laughing so hard we were going to be sick. sean loved how i didn't even skip a beat to say it, seth told me about how his family would love me. i liked that, and poor poor chris, he's so good and innocent almost it feels like and hilarious in his own way with his tenor voice...haha it was just classic. it's funny because i knew i was saying it, i knew i wanted to say it...but my brain didn't censor it coming out...so it came out very...well, at least they laughed.

if i mention embarrassing moments with seth or pictures or cameras we both just laugh...oh man. too funny...

then we said bye to sean and chris, sean telling me how i had put them all in a wonderful mood {which he has no idea, totally made me feel so so good inside} and then seth and i walked to my next class. i was so embarrassed and apologized for my embarrassing behavior and he said he loved my sense of humor or something like that, how his family really would love me. i spent my TA period very happily... i like people who make me feel good like those three.

then in stats i got another hug from brian. love that guy, he's so nice to me (: makes my day every time. then jason came around for a hug and brian and i shook our heads and brian gave me another hug, we fake cuddled for a little bit. it was too funny especially jason's face - you had to have seen it. haha, love it.

after class and before Fiddler practice i talked mostly to guys again. dunno what it is but i have never ever had so many guys as friends as i have this year, and felt more comfortable around them than around anyone else. sean, craig, alex and this other guy who is in my seminary class but whose name is slipping my brain right now. when that kid left to go somewhere it was funny, i couldn't hear what he said but sean told me that he said "and goodbye attractive girl!" which made me smile. people are just nice like that here at SHHS.

amaya lost her keys...that was a big ordeal, i feel bad for amaya but she's got them now so it's all good. some stupid kid stole them. good ole charlie though, he was real nice to her...it's cool to see how good of friends those two are. i love being around them (: haha and landon. landon is a HOOT. (:

fiddler practice was exhausting, so was powder puff practice...and then i had a ward party afterward. i like charlie, alex and spencer as our coaches though. they're awesome. i'm scared charlie might yell at me - he gets into the game (: but we've got it all worked out, alex says he'll make sure to keep charlie in good behavior.

anyway- ward party; lots of good food, talked to some of the laurels, found out that this kid in my musical theater class is in my ward...he just doesn't go to church which surprised me. anyhow. oh and {sidenote} whenever i told my embarrassing story yesterday about the picture, i always called the wrong people by the name of seth...ack. i just couldn't stop embarrassing myself. i was on a roll.

anyhow...that's really all that happened yesterday: next post will be about TODAY.... (: excited? i would say me too...but i've already lived it once...but some good things happened so it's worth going through again i guess. :P

kaylla

{post script: ultimate goal of brevity: fail}

Halle Jayne White

we drove our beaten car to bountiful. it was quite the journey, having to stop twice for gas and praying that the engine didn't overheat. yes, quite the adventure. worth it? absolutely.

we arrived shortly after two i believe and we walked into the bountiful hospital. following directions we went up to the second floor and were directed toward the right room and number. opening that door we saw her. oh the beautiful little thing. megan was feeding her so we waited briefly for her to finish. my mom got to hold her and we just spent time holding her, each of us getting a turn.

when it came around for my turn i wasn't sure what to do. i was nervous. i've never held a new-born baby before now...in fact i've rarely held babies at all, being the youngest i just have very limited experience.

it was beautiful.

something about the soft red skin. something about the way she scrunched her entire face together and went purple for a little bit. something about those tiny toes...each one as infinitely beautiful as the other. she was absolutely perfect. with her forest of feather-soft brown hair i just wanted to cry. what a beautiful, magnificent daughter of God...she was beautiful.

for the first time i felt as if i actually thought that something...something was right about holding a baby in my arms. i've never felt that before, in fact i've always wondered if i was one of those women who wasn't meant to have children in this life because kids always seemed to just...cry...around me. i'm kind of like a guy that way - tears scare me.

holding that piece of heaven, as beautiful as a breath of clear music i never wanted to let go of that little bundle of joy. when she sneezed i wanted to just smile forever and ever. when she wriggled around i wanted to hold her closer and closer until she became a part of me.

standing up and rocking her to sleep made me realize that a mother really could love a child, no matter what. something about that totally innocent, completely helpless child cries out for love from every single person who holds them. a child of God fresh from His presence, so pure that they couldn't do any wrong even if they wanted to.

the way she blinked and her eyes were unfocused, the way she moved her tongue around, even her crying was so beautiful!

it was sweet - my dad called while we were there and aaron {my brother} told halle to say "hi" to grandpa. she screamed the loudest at that moment. it was perfect. i think she knew what she was doing.

someday that will be me...someday i'll have a little baby of my own. someday...someday sounds so wonderful. I thank Heavenly Father that i am a girl...and have that potential to be a mother, to nurture His other children. I hope to do as an amazing job as i know megan will do and as my mom and grandmother's have done.

Kaylla

{post script: her name was going to be halle elizabeth but it didn't sound right. jayne is my grandma alberts' name - my mom's mom. it's a family name...it's so wonderful...}

some days deserve a post about everything in them. like today.

wow. i'm not really sure where to start for today. first of all actually: I'm an aunt!!! I'm so happy! Little Halle White was born today at 6:08 pm, weighing 7 lbs and 1 oz, and 19 inches long. she is beautiful (: in fact, hopefully this will work, here is a picture (: they don't have a middle name set for her yet...that's coming (:

anyhow. so today...? started horribly. in fact i was in tears a little bit for seminary and AP Lit, but Allie and Paige both gave me hugs and i apologized to my dad and everything turned out okay in the end. i saw my friend Seth in the hallway and i felt bad because i din't want him to see my red, teary-eyed face so i kind of blew him off when he said hi, but later when i saw him in the library i was able to talk to him and we chatted...it was "very nice" (haha, Tarzan) and then he walked me to my next class so we could keep chatting. i like people like that, who put people as a priority...it's nice and makes me feel good inside, especially after having that horrible morning.

then singers/choir was good, and so was lunch. haha, funny story - i was with allie and libby and we were in our lunch vestibule and that fella was coming at us and so i blocked the door. we talked briefly and he said something about having to have to enter by force. just a continuing theme i suppose after "beating him up". something about that guy just makes my heart give little hiccups of happiness.

he then "changed his mind" about going outside, (maybe i'm just a stupid silly girl...ha wait. i know i am. anyway, onwards) but i kind of like finding him looking at me. like when we were checking our Crime and Punishment books out of the library and he said hi to me...that made me smile. and then when i was going to lunch he saw me in the hall and took note of me again. i dunno...i'm fine with just friends. but sometimes, some people... (:

so he followed Allie and I into the library where she had to print something off, and i went to vote for Homecoming Royalty...or something. He followed us there too. it was fun. ack. i just love talking to people like him. he tried to vote to but neither of us knew how to do it. we gave up. i stayed in my TA and he left to go to AP Physics. it's kind of funny seeing him on a computer, he's totally not the computer type of person. (: called it, he agreed.

in my TA, it was just another happy day. i love it in there. Ben and Emily are just...great friends (:

then AP Stats...oh gosh, i'm not really good at it. i hope i did okay on my test. i felt good about it though, so crossing my fingers.

after that i had Fiddler rehearsal, talked a lot with Amaya (course, she's an amazing gal...dunno what i would have done these past few weeks without her or Allie, or Paige...or haha a lot of people. like Charlie, Sean and now Seth that i'm getting to know him too)

in my little family group for ensemble, there is THE cutest little girl. She's my "little sister". love being in this play. a LOT. oh and my new pal poked his head in while we were on stage too. he has fluffy hair after swimming. if i could wish for anything right now it would be more time to get to know people like him. people like him who make me feel like the whole of mankind (man being the key word...) is doomed.

then after practice i talked with maya, charlie, landon and craig. that was FUN. we decided (except craig) to go to amaya's house to get some musical theater homework done together. that was so much fun too. Landon says i'm a flirt. he's the one who tackled me to the floor in amaya's basement. just for the record. besides, no strings on this girl...no matter how sad and wretched that actually makes this girl...but it means i can do whatever i please. Landon is pretty cool. so much personality that i don't know what to do with him sometimes. we have a joke: that i'm in love with him. haha, not really...in fact it was kind of awkward - his ex girlfriend asked me if i really was...awkward moment of making sure she knew i was in no one in connection with him (or anyone really...much more simple that way...seeing as probably the moment i did start liking someone, the way my luck runs - a friend of mine will tell me that she likes him and i'll have to make myself back off to avoid a brittani-madison situation...which would suck. so i'm staying away completely) but i'm free to flirt. anyway.

we went to a street party, after having a short youtube party and banana cake. landon called me a flirt again. i punched him.

oh and the classic moment of the day?: i had a skirt hanger in my hand and i poked charlie with it. it went into his tummy and the words just popped out "charlie's squishy..." for some reason everyone started laughing. not to mention it was hat day today...tomorrow is twin day. i think amaya and i are going to match. unless she changes her mind (: who knows.

while we were on our way to drop landon off at his car back at the school he and i talked about if we were to really ever wrestle each other. landon's funny - he can make things super awkward but it's okay because it's him and his personality. he said i was nice. haha, which i thought was funny because i'd been punching him earlier and when i mentioned that he agreed but i also wasn't major upset if he punched me back jokingly, which is why he was upset at some other girls i guess. something like that. anyway - longer story shorter-ish, he said if we wrestled and then one day got married then it wouldn't be awkward. amaya and i just laughed. we then talked about movies - apparently if i watched Wall-e or Penelope with landon, his ex-girlfriend would be upset. {makes me wonder...what did madison say about me?...anyway, not important.} but over all i thought that was rather funny. love being around landon. he's hilarious, and if i'm a flirt...*cough... hahahaha.

and then i had a good girl talk with amaya when she dropped me off at home. i have permission to tease her (: i love it. i'm so excited...sounds horrible but i'm just like that. ;P

and then i came home and got the news that Halle was born! good day all in all...good day.

Kaylla

{post script:} the friend...the one who i haven't really...told anyone except amaya and kelsey about...name wise...i'm not like...y'know, like in love with him or anything. just...exploring. happily exploring. besides...like i said about the other girls liking people...yah, i try to avoid (heavily) conflict with other girls. this time it might be tough...but i'll do it. i already know of at least two girls who have a thing for him. i had better back off in other words. thing is...if i'm stupid enough, i'll say he's just as curious about exploring as i am. Landon would say he is a flirt too. it's not fair. (: we'll see where this plot turns, y'know?

and if you're madison reading this...text me. you are privy to any knowledge you want and you know i love ya and always will talk to ya and tell you everything...if you want. it's up to you. (;

First Shot Photograph

so for lilly's birthday she got this awesome camera lens for her camera and today my mom and she bought her a new dress...well...camera? dress? so lilly asked me to take some "senior pictures" of her (:

first, a disclaimer. i have never ever taken pro-fesh shots before - so this is my first chance. these are only the digital camera pictures - i'll show you my favorites of the hard shot ones once we get them developed. i also edited them. hope you like (:

the second to last one is my favorite (: got her to get that real smile out and love it (:

-kaylla

ps - how did i do?

Big Pictures

If someone said just those two words to me, honestly the first thing th

at would come to m

y mind is a big-screen movie. Ha, no jok

e. But the moment they tell me "Look at the big picture"

I get this bi

g image of the world. It's a cartoon

too. Funny...

Anyway -

I was sitting at my desk just...thinking about life really and the funniest self-made quote came to my head. It went like this (keep in mind that this is self-copyrighted and if I hear you use it without giving me credit I will hunt you down and egg you and your house): "If I were to look at the big picture, I wouldn't see you."

Kind of sad, but honestly very true. For some people it wouldn't be true but for the most part in our lives, like our families and friends that we stay close to for ages (however unlikely that is for some people...). Whereas in high school - that life was m

ade to end. I've decided that if I can, I'm going to go back to high school - if they accept my transcript that is. I kind of hope they do. I'm not done being sick of the drama. Ha. Masochist. Me. right here. yes.

But so many of the people that I know right now, some I'm happy that I will never see again and some I'm scared to leave behind. For the most part (other than a handful of people) I am glad to leave American Heritage. For so long that place has held me; captive or captivated I am not sure...but now I am going to be in a totally different situation.

We drove around my new school today, literally around haha, I tried to look in windows but it was kind of hard and my dad and Lo wanted me to focus on the road (psh, poor sports), but they have a decent soccer field and the school looks...pretty ok. I've never been to a real school - well one month at Timberline Middle School doesn't really count does it? - so this will be a first and honestly? I'm scared. So many people, so many different kinds of people. For the majority of my life I've been surrounded by nerds and kids that kind of are in need of fixing their life, or foreign students. That's been my exposure to the outside world (well Madison and Cameron weren't really any of those categories but I'm stereotyping).

So back to the big picture ;)

All these heartaches that I've dragged on about for the past...year...really? How well will I remember them, or even care about in even another year's time? Sure it makes me sad that a year from now someone may say "Do you remember so-one-so?" and I'll say "Who?" (honestly I doubt that will happen in a year...maybe ten years...but yah - you get my point) But no matter what, I think that's sad. I wish I could remember them all. I wish we could all changed only for the better. I wish I could remain an innocent child forever, running around in the dirt with my brother and sister without a care in the world.

The big picture though? I see it as me, a stay-at-home mother, with dusty dreams of being an author or concert pianist. I see her waking early in the morning to make breakfast for the gentlest and kindest man on earth who would save her from anything and everything if he could. He would be her knight in shining armor - who washes dishes occasional

ly. :) She would get her little three-year-old daughter named Inez Joelle (after her grandma and great grandma) dressed, the little tomboy probably already set in her character would only wear pants, whereas her older sister Amber Jayne (after her other great grandma) probably is a total girly-girl. Their older brother William or Martin (not sure about his name) is probably under and around his mom's feet with that soccer ball that I swear I locked in the closet...the silly boy. I'll get them

off to school and pre-school, my knight will leave for work and after I clean the house I will play on the beautiful baby-grand that we saved up for before even getting a house. While I'm playing and improvising, I'll feel a kick in my stomach where the next member of our family is trying to tell me that they want to play on the piano too. I smile and keep playing. Maybe later that week I'll visit my friend Kaytlyn (who I'm sure I'll still know) ;) or Nicole or one of the other amazing people I know I'll meet between now and then. I'll force my kids to play with theirs and both families will complain (just as I did when my mom

took me to play with her friends' kids) and they'll have a blast anyway.

Did I mention any of the high school drama in that there big paragraph? I didn't think so. But honestly, in 10-20 years from now, that really will be t

he big picture. That will be my life. (Ha, unless the world ends - then nothing of course will be the same ever again...*cough) anyway. But there you have it. I won't remember how much this person or that one hurt me. Time will have healed those wounds, and if not heal them - I'll at least have forgotten them until some unfortunate event digs them up again.

I can see it now...I'm driving along and I see a red subaru, and I'll think of him. I'll hear that song on the radio and this person will come jolting into my mind. Maybe one day I'll ask my children for a foot rub and they'll inquisitively ask where the round scar came from; and I'll have to tell them that that's where I got cleated by my friend, while I was barefoot...as always. Maybe I'll go through my closet and find the girls camp t-shirt that I wrote in permanent marker on saying M1DV8L3, and I'll laugh and fold it again thinking to keep it for just another year and then maybe by then I'll want to throw it away, but I never will.

So many things to remember, so many things to forget. Which ones will be which. I've reached a bridge in my road so to speak and I can't see wh

ere this path leads. I can't see where any of them lead really. I have no direction in my life except the Lord and my parents and occasionally some friends. My life is all mine right now. I can do and go wherever I please.

It's odd to think about all of this, to think about forgetting during a time when I can't stop thinking about it all. could I really ever forget this time of my life? Seriously? I guess with the big picture we never know. We just never know. And there is no way to know in advance; we have to just live life and get there. Just keep living and sailing across this big big ocean.

So here's to another year, and trying to see the big picture of things. Good luck. because you will need it.

Kaylla

PS - the last picture...is of San Hose Beach. Just a side-note to self.

"Scary Situation"

So I was talking with my bff ;) about one of the most interesting situations probably possible. Of course there are those other situations like when you say the wrong thing and at the most embarrassing moments . . . but this one is without your doing and happens quite often to some people . . .

Take a look at this picture (taken by Ken Worley - www.ken-worley.com)

Ever been here?

So yeah . . . I thought it was funny.

Just a reminder - always check the bathroom for toilet paper first. It would be VERY embarrassing if you were at a friend's house say and you forgot . . . yeah. Embarrassing ;) Lucky for me I've never been there, except at home of course - but ever-body has that, right eh? Yah.

SOooooooooo . . . yeah I posted. Just keeping up the habit I suppose.

So farewell for a while. See ya next time! I think I'll do a more useful post sometime soon. ;)

"yours truly"

KAYLLA

What in the . . .

With my incredibly boring life . . . this is what I decided to post about today. So . . . sometimes when I can't think about something to write about I find an interesting picture and then . . . write about it and any random feelings that come to my head.

So . . . when I first saw this picture my brain thought . . . "Is that a - MAN? falling? BACKWARDS?!?!"
haha . . . my mental facial expression was pretty neat if I do say so myself. But yes. He's cliff jumping. Ever read the Twilight series, New Moon? Yeah - cliff jumping. About as stupid as people get.

I wonder what you think about when you fall through the air like that only to hit the water 10x harder than is expected by your body. "Oh the sky looks nice today"

For me it probably would be something like "AHHHHHHH!!! WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING!!!! STUPID IDIOT ME!!!!"

Yeah. I don't like heights and the prospect of FALLING.

Heights alone are okay. Falling alone is okay. Falling down really tall heights is not okay. Some combinations just aren't friendly to the human spirit, well at least my spirit. :)

I did tell my brother I would like to go skydiving at least once in my life. What's different? YOU HAVE A PARACHUTE - and an expert strapped to your back :) - for safety.

So yeah. I've satisfied my conscience - I have posted. :)

Tootles!

Kaylla

Waves of Orange Soda

Trying to search my brain for a metaphorical way to use this picture, the title - and come up with something good for the heart. Like Cherios.

I've got it. Okay - so have you ever wanted to just swim in your favorite drink? I once did when I was a kid - not anymore because that literally would be too sticky BUT it's the thought that once happened that counts right? right. So what if you could have anything you wanted? Anything, as much of it as you wanted and it was all yours? For example, say you wanted to instantly have all the money that you needed whenever you needed it. Or you could turn into a mermaid, or you could make yourself totally disappear (which . . . for social inadequates that's not too hard . . . right?), or to become totally the most popular person at school etc. etc.. Anyway.

Think of your wish and wish it.

Now what could go wrong? Every wish that I've thought of . . . something could go wrong. If only it's the selfishness that corrupts people that you see with their wishes coming true. Most wishes are centered around "ME".

So . . . if wishes are centered on ourselves then something could go horribly wrong . . . but what about the wishes we make for others?

I'm not going to answer that. Just let you think about it, and orange soda. :)

So . . . that's all I have to say so . . . bye!

KAYLLA

The Sky

Hello :)

I have to say that (similar to someone else I know . . .) I love the sky. If there is one thing on earth besides people that I simply love - it would be the sky. The stars are included in that. Today there was something simply magical and beautiful about the sky. And on a strange side note - I felt that my necklace being stuck all day was somehow connected to such a . . . oh gosh I can't even find a word for it - clear but cloudy - gloriously fierce yet pastel pretty . . . anyway - it felt somehow connected to my necklace; and if you don't know the wive's-tale about necklaces than . . . I'll post it later as a postscript.

The sky was just constantly moving and I went to school thinking - oh it'll be gone by the time school gets out but it's been like this all day long! Just like a master painting, changes and flows. I expect the sunset to be glorious.

I walked up the steps from our basement apartment and turned and was just blown away by how beautiful the lake and the sky and the mountains looked. One of the most beautiful things in the entire world. I thought to the night before how clear and calm it was - cloudless. The stars were amazing and Orion was the first thing I looked for and saw.

Now for a little bit off subject . . . . Last night my family and I watched a movie called War and Peace with Audrey Hepburn in it - she's pretty good but not the best in my opinion (sorry Audrey lovers!) anyway. Needless to say - I don't think I like the way it ended. I wanted her to end up with Prince Andrei but I didn't get my wish - he did forgive her though and that would redeem the film if he hadn't died and she hadn't gone to Pierre instead. Grr-owl. I also thought that Prince Andrei was considerably more handsome and if I were her and if that were a real story I would never love anyone ever again. I have decided firmly though that I should read the book. I reccommend the movie too though! Highly reccommend!

Must go now, being kicked out of the "computer lab". Thanks for reading this by the way - it makes me feel special that anyone would :D

Love Much, Much Love!

Kaylla the Cricket ;)

OH! PS! - The necklace "theory". So it's pretty simple, when you're wearing a necklace with a pendant and a clasp at the back ever gotten to the point where the chain slides in a way that makes the clasp touch the pendant? Well, a long time ago (actually I think it was 5th grade) and galfriend told me that that means a boy is thinking about you. More recently a friend and I "modified" it in a sense - saying that whenever they touch then you're future husband is thinking about you. BUT since there is no such thing as soul mates or predestined matches or weird stuff like that it really is mostly a joke. BUT yet again . . . you never know. And besides - God knows everything, so there is (or at least could be) someone "foreordained" to be with you - ANYWAY! so there's the necklace/pendant/clasp "theory" or whatever you want to call it!

Love ya all!

Kaylla