not a fling.

"When you can't stop thinking about someone when they're not around, that's not a fling. When you remember their touch, just like they were still right next to you, that's not a fling....we both know what we have."

-Sullivan {Bones}

What Will I Choose...?

I've been wondering recently about a certain change I have the opportunity to make in my life. My choice in media, filmwise. It's a daunting decision, one that if I make it - I'll be determined to keep it for the rest of my life. What is this choice you may ask? Changing my personal screening habits to not viewing PG-13 and higher rated movies.

What brought on this thought processing...? My friend, the one I can't seem to talk enough to - and not because of any silly ideas you may be getting as a nosy what-is-kaylla-doing-with-her-romantic-life kind of person...but because I can talk to him about most anything and get a completely unbiased opinion, an honest one and one that is completely based on common sense- whoa long tangent - anyway, he has this rule with himself. To this day because he's kept it he no longer even desires to watch movies from which he can't feel the spirit.

I've been so desensitized. But I'm scared to give up all those things that have entertained me previously. Seriously, my self-deemed favorite movie is PG-13...and Lord of the Rings as well. How do I draw the line?

Or maybe the question is should I draw the line?

Here's some thoughts I've had: I don't want to be desensitized {good job Kaylla...} but are the messages of some movies worth the rating? Like Lord of the Rings for instance? Classic movies too, not all are PG. I looked up a movie that I destroyed in Mr. Carman's Media Burning Project and it was only PG. So are some PG-13 movies worth the rating? And are some PG movies not worth the rating? How do I determine between the two. How do I stay strong to myself unless I have a strict guide of yes and no to certain ratings?

I'm not really sure what I will do.

Side thoughts too: Mr. Carman, I don't want to repeat that experience in any way...but there was always some truth in the things that he taught us, in fact a lot of truth. But how do I make this not...another experience like that? If I do this for someone else, like my friend...if we ever are not friends any more, will I break my commitment?

So if I do this, it has to be completely me.

I haven't decided. Maybe it will be something that takes me a while to decide...I won't rush into this. But it's something I've pondered this weekend, since my conversation with Seth in front of the library. I was even thinking about it while with my friends Kaytlyn and Kelsey watching our favorite TV show, Haven, because I don't think that show would pass a PG rating. I'm confused on what to do. But I'm thinking...thinking lots and lots...

love you,

Kaylla.

day six: a day with a kelsey

the day when i woke up early without an alarm clock because i was just so excited.

the day when we were late picking kelsey up.

the day we read scriptures in the car because we were late.

the day we went to lowes to get a fan.

the day i walked into kelsey's house without shoes as if it were my own house. isn't it?

the day we couldn't stop laughing with kelsey on the drive to elk ridge

the day i auditioned for musical theater {spotlight singers}

the day where i sang horribly sharp and the teachers still wanted me. yes!

the day i discovered that i really liked the drama teacher, Mrs. Dunn.

the day the teachers told me that they wanted me because they saw me as a mature girl, and a hard worker. pretty sure i am willing to work hard, but not so sure about maturity. hopefully they're right.

the day i officially was registered for school and it took for.ev.er.

the day people didn't appreciate my sarcasm about stupid registration.

the day they gave me a map of the school and i got lost looking at it for the front door. wow.

the day kelsey, lilly and i went around in wal-mart, shopping for the ingredients for brazillian lemonade.

the day we made brazillian lemonade. and drank it.

the day uncle scott came for a visit.

the day i realized that even if you don't see relatives for years and years it's always going to be strange, seeing your family's traits in almost complete strangers.

the day we baked papa murphy's pizza and ate it.

the day kelsey got full.

the day we experienced a miracle. kelsey is never full. literally.

the day lilly drove us all to the pond...like we were mature or something.

the day we took pictures, laughed a lot about nothing and everything

the day kelsey sat down in the water. heh heh...

the day we danced around an outdoor stage with a mural behind us, quoting PSYCH

the day we walked across the salem ponds bridge. intense.

the day we watched a dead fish, debating whether it really was dead or not. it was.

the day that watching the dead fish in water...gave me a huge headache.

the day we colored our driveway all up with sidewalk chalk with love notes, syfy pictures, notes of friendship to kaytlyn, and harry potter paraphernalia.

the day the sprinklers turned on just before my camera battery died.

the day our beautiful artwork was washed away, the poor shortlived romance of sidewalk chalk.

the day we tried to watch an entire Haven episode but...failed.

the day we all fell asleep in the car driving kelsey home.

the day i enviously watched as three bullet bikes flew by our car. baby blue, black and lime green.

the day we went to macey's after dropping kelsey off at home.

the day i saw michael morris at maceys, because he works there.

the day i gave michael a hug and we talked for a while about the future. i'll miss that guy.

the day we went and got some job applications.

the day i spied an adorable vintage red floral print dress at seagull book.

the day we went to bliss frozen yogurt and people told us that strawberries don't go with oranges.

the day that those people were completely wrong. it was delicious.

the day we went to wal-mart again {twice in one day? wow.} and couldn't find anything we were looking for.

the day i had to rush to mutual because i was almost late, and i hate being late.

the day kayli, erika and i had lots of fun during our service scavenger hunt...because all the beehives did everything for us. haha

the day i realized freshman are annoying...and i hope i was never like that.

the day we hung out in the cultural hall afterward and then ate ice creams and sherberts outside.

the day kayli taught me how to block your phone number so that you can prank phone call anyone you want.

the day i tried to prank someone, just to hear their voice again...and failed.

the day that the realization hit me that i really must either be a retard or obsessed.

the day that i was tired so went to bed after that, as always with lots of nothing on my mind.

kaylla

Big Time Rush

My friend Kelsey (her blog Here), showed me this group - yah I know, they're kind of wannabe Backstreet Boys kind of deal but don't worry - they still have their own good stuff going on. Their names are Kendall Schmidt, James Maslov, Carlos Pena, and Logan Henderson (who happens to be my personal favorite) and warning: they sound just as bad live as Taylor Swift does. It's funny - so many of these famous people couldn't hold a candle to people of real talent; like my friend Miranda or my guyfriend Taylor (ohh man, his voice is nice). Like I said - real people.

Anyway - so this song is called "Worldwide". I just figured why not post it - it's not my favorite, but it's a good one. I'll post my real favorite after this video.

and "Count on You" featuring Jordin Sparks

So...more music. You know me - I like music...and you get lots of it if you read my blog. Anyway - pretty ok groupy - Big Time Rush, they have a tv show or something, probably not worth watching - most teen and kids shows are really lame and stupid like that, buuuut that is me and my big fat opinion. Enjoy anyway!

Kaylla

Penny For My Thoughts?

Being sunburnt so badly that I can barely move may not be as bad as it sounds - not after you are done reading this post at least. So here goes. (My thoughts basically...so no judging me) ;)

I was lying on the living room couch

, watching a show I'd

recently heard about, I wanted to check it out - maybe you've heard of it? "Bones". yah, sounds like it might be sketchy, another one of those CSI kind of shows - sometimes pretty gruesome. In the episode I watched, the main character (who is nicknamed "Bones" because of her intense knowledge of everything bone and body related) is given a case in which the person she is trying to find out how she died - is a mirror of her own self.

Found dead under a tree - dead for about six months, the anonymous woman is a workaholic, same height, similar profession, the skeleton is wearing the same ring that Bones wears (a dolphin), and similar lifestyles just all around. Then she sees a picture of the victim, once they have identified her enough...and the picture...is her own self. Bones is the woman.

Through a series of events she solves the case because she is so much alike to the victim. My favorite parts in the episode are when she is talking to Mikey, the night-shift security guard - and he is talking gibberish Latin and Bones although super controlling and almost autistic in her mannerisms, can actually understand him. (Autistic people take things very literally, so to mix and jumble words with Latin, and Latin sounding words - that would probably really mess with her head)

Mikey tells a story or gives an example though that I found really...interesting. There was a study done/experiment where some people were given glasses that made them see the world upside down. After three days, still wearing the upside-down glasses - their vision flipped and they could see everything right-side up. After their vision flipping, they took the upside-down glasses off, only to see the world upside-down again! After three days, their vision returned to normal.

It's so...interestingly thrilling to wonder about the same amount of time in the flipping and the very fact that it flipped at all! Our brain is so...temporary. It can adjust to the smallest changes of life. Maybe that is why, with time we all adjust to the circumstances given to us - we come to an acceptance; and even those that never accept the changes in their lives, they accept that they never will accept them. Or can't.

Small children who become blind, adults that become paralyzed, teenagers with broken hearts, the birth of a child, the death of a parent or close friend...live always goes one, doesn't it?

Another thing from this episode that I really liked was when a friend of Bones' is talking about death. (Paraphrasing) he says that - we are not afraid of death, we are afraid that no one will remember us; that we will simply disappear. Isn't that so true? We all want to make a difference in the world. We all want to know that our death would make someone sad, or move another to action, or that our LIFE caused someone to take hope in their own. We say that we hate change, that it is difficult, but death - the biggest of changes isn't feared because of it's ending - it's feared because we don't know the Change that we have brought about.

Irony...the fear of change, and the fear of no change. Ha!

Also - another side thought. "The best catches are the ones that get away". What? At first I thought - uhh...that's way stupid. (Wow - I know, I'm so judgmental) but then...wait for it...I took a second to Think about it. Wow Kaylla. Wow. ;)

But now you can think about it - how good of an escape artist is that? That really is amazing, if they escape from being captive, that is one of the embodiments of strength. The best fish we caught was the one that got away. First of all, since we never got to taste it's deliciousness, we will always assume that it is the one that would have tasted the best, thus the one that always get's away is the best. The WWII veterans in prison camps - the best catch is the one that got away...because we never hear the story of the ones that died, do we. (Sorry if that thought is at all disrespectful, not meant to be).

So that's all the thoughts I had. Ha. I'm done thinking for one day. ;) (yah...if you've read my blog before - you know that I hardly ever stop thinking. Unlike those...weirdos who when you ask them what they are thinking they say "nothing". ugh.) so - just kidding.

Oh! Actually - just another thought. I kind of wonder if I blocked my facebook status to everyone but one person and then addressed them in it, if they would respond. To see if they read my statuses. I think it'd be a cool way to see who actually reads your statuses, and who just skips over them to get to the next one, their other friends who are more important at the moment. A test of priority, a test of importance to others. What is that called...the word where you want to know that you mean something to other people? Not self-importance...

Validation! That's it :) yah - we all want to be validated. I wonder if it would work :)

Isn't there a video on youtube about that...? Hm.

Kaylla

Dreams and . . . RANDOM

So I had a dream that I was a spy and I was walking fast enough to keep up with cars on the freeway. That was pretty weird. Then the weird part - the guy Auggie from the tv show Covert Affairs was in my dream. He's kind of cute ;)

Then yesterday we were all mice and were saving our mouse kingdom from the giant iguana. That would have been scary had we actually been humans, y'know?

So . . . my dreams are creeping me out recently is all . . .

Oh like during my nap today (yeah yeah I know - nap but I was lazy tired so I have a good excuse) :D haha I dreamt that I had a whirlwind romance . . . which doesn't sound like me at all. Yeah - heartbreaker . . . So yeah :D not a very interesting post but I love blogging so yeah. :D Hopefully if anyone reads this they won't care. :)

I used to listen to this song A LOT so I thought I'd post it. The pictures are from the 2008 of Sense and Sensibility but the song itself is by Sara Bareilles - titled "Between the Lines" I liked it a lot. Applied a lot to what I felt a lot near November last year. :D Memory Lane is always the longest isn't it. Not always the most comfortable either.





My brother and I were talking (email - Jordon's on a mission) about if we could go back in time how cool it would be to watch yourself for one day (not interfere) but watch yourself on a good day or a hard day. Wouldn't that be an interesting experience. When I die I almost wish my life does flash before my eyes. That would be so cool.

Got to go now! Bye

Kaylla

Doctor What?

Okay . . . so many people I know don't know what this is about but a LOT do. So there's this British TV series called Doctor Who. I often like it though not always love it but my sister and our friend are both avid followers ;) haha sorry you two - I'm teasing you, take it with sugar though - I love you both.

Okay so I just BARELY got done seeing the episode in the third series titled Blink. Wow. My last favorite when watching the first series was . . . I can't even remember but that one was my new favorite. Exciting, heart pumping and even though it doesn't include the Doctor as much he's a big part. But what I'm going to say is going to concern the two episodes before Blink titled Human Nature and The Family of Blood. Interesting titles I know. So . . . [spoiler alert] the Doctor turns himself human with no knowledge of his TimeLord existence and Martha is left alone to basically care for a weakling (sorry John Smith) but the Doctor/John falls in love with another human! So when the time comes for his human self to "die" and the Doctor to be brought back to save the day, he wimps out momentarily because of love, life and a beautifully normal human life. Which brought me to say something I thought very clever and which is what this post I think is really about. Here - I'm quoting myself ;)

"There is safety in normalcy and yet . . . there's power in living forever."

He can never know a normal life - living forever he will never live his life with only one true love, he's constantly switching forms and companions . . . and he's lonely. I find it so sad. Yes, it's a life of adventure . . . but never-ending? But then he's changing lives, he's rescuing universes constantly in need of his "protection". How do you choose? He can't choose. But in the episode The Family of Blood in a sense he did have a choice; not really (it was either a normal human life or the destruction of the world . . . not to mention Martha would never be able to go home and the glitches go on . . .) anyway, it's very similar to the Tuck Everlasting story. They chose eternal existence by accident and then asked Winnie to choose it by knowledgeable choice . . . and didn't choose it. And what about Eternity for us? I believe in an afterlife; so when we die . . . will we have something to do or suspended in eternal happiness? I dunno what the answers are to those questions. I just thought that I'd throw them out there. :)

But I also wanted to write this post because I wanted to make at least observations about Doctor Who.

1.) Ever time he meets his new companion and she realizes that it's bigger on the inside than on the outside . . . first she steps out . . . then back in . . . then looks around it . . . then back it. It's hilarious! Apparently the doctor notices too because when Martha first says "It's bigger on the inside" he mouths her words just as she says them. It's quite funny :D

2.) Also . . . when the mothers of the current companion first meet the Doctor and what he's all about . . . they slap him. That's it . . . just kind of funny is all :)

3.) So the title of the show is Doctor Who right? Right. Well . . . my sister told me that was because the people when they ask him his name he says "I'm the Doctor" but . . . I've never heard anyone say "Doctor who?" it's always been "Doctor what?" . . . what's with that? :D

I'm just being critical because I love it. I criticize things I love. So yeah - good show, I recommend it :)

Lots of Love!

KAYLLA

PS - wanted to use all my favorite pictures that I found but I'm only going to pick my favorites . . . depressing but after the last post I'm not ready to go all out again for a while. :)

PPS - [spoiler alert] the darker skinned girl is Martha Jones and the blond is Rose Tyler - the original of the newer series's companion. Rose is in love with the Doctor and he with her. Martha loves the Doctor as well but . . . he misses Rose. But she finds her own love - and requited love as well. :) so it all ends happy. (yay)

so yeh . . .

bye!

and for the second time - my name ;)

KAYLLA

Lookalike?

Okay. Take a look at these pictures; the one on the left is Harry Lloyd in the bbc tv series Robin Hood and the one on the right is Matthew Goode from movies like . . . Leap Year and Chasing Liberty and probably some other cheapy movie ;)SO! My sister and I are always placing characters/actors from movies that we recognize, so like if we see a new movie and there is a familiar actor or actress then one of us has to name a movie or their name and a movie their in, whichever comes first really - mostly the movie part though. So . . . when I first saw Leap Year I was like "hey that's Harry Lloyd - from Robin Hood! It's Will Scarlet!" and I was so excited . . . until it wasn't. So I don't know about you but I don't really like lookalikes. They mess with my mind. Here's another one.

Okay so I know that in these pictures they don't look as much alike but in filming - I find it hard to tell the difference. You may recognize Camilla Belle (bottom left) from 10,000 B.C and When A Stranger Calls then Amelia Warner (upper right) from Lorna Doone and The Seeker or even Push. And no I haven't seen all those movies but I do know them by title ;) but I have seen most. OH and another good one that you would never guess. Ever taken a look at Keira Knightley or Natalie Portman bald? well if you do and put into perspective that Natalie's older then guess what!? You can barely tell them apart. Did you know that Keira Knightley was in Star Wars: Phantom Menace? I thought not! Apparently she was the decoy. Here - I really hate working with pictures and there are plenty of others . . . so I'm only gonna do like three more, okey? okay. Oh and Winona Ryder is claimed to look like Keira and Natalie but not . . . as much as they are to each other.

so Keira Knightly and Natalie. Both pretty good actresses - and both famous - and both in naughty films as well. So personally I don't like Orlando but I LOVE Rupert Friend. He plays Wickham in Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley and he also plays Prince Edward in The Young Victoria. Brilliant actor. Also British ;)
Do I need to tell anyone who these guys are? So the one on the left is Jude Law and one on the right is Ewan McGregor. Both very handsome . . . sometimes Ewan gets on my nerves.I'm not a friendly person - said that one before, I know a LOT of people like BOTH of these girls but personally . . . they BOTH get on my nerves. Nicole Kidman is not very pretty, sorry. and Amy Adams is a silly airhead. :) But . . . I'll give them the credit of maybe the benefit of the doubt. Sorry if I offend anyone. John Cusack and Matthew Macfadyen. Both very handsome, both tall, dark and handsome. Anyone ever seen Serendipity? Good film - John was amazingly brilliant as the lost lover with cold feet. And Matthew? His depth-felt depiction of Mr. Darcy (in my opinion) is right up there with the very best; namely Collin Firth. :) Both very good actors. Gotta love them ;)So Gwyneth Paltrow and the new Alice, Mia Wasikowska. Mia was AMAZING as Alice in Tim Burton's rendition. Oh man that movie was MAGICAL. I went and saw it for my birthday and I was just blown away by the collection of wonderful actors and actresses and they CUNNING skill (Mia definitely one of them), the effects, the well-written script (something hard to find), and the beautiful plot and story. BUT back to lookalikes - I like these two, both very moving actresses. I saw a trailer with Gwyneth in it recently - can't remember the title but she appeared to be playing the part just as heartfelt as she always is, just like in Emma. That was a beautiful film even if it wasn't my favorite Emma version to date. :) But that was NOT her fault, probably more the artistic aspect of it. Good cinematography but not my taste . . .
Has anyone NOT seen Batman? okay I'm one of the FEW FEW FEW who didn't know that that was where Christian Bale REALLY got famous. I always said "hey yeah the guy from Newsies" but no. It's Batman. The man who faced his fears. Okay so he's on the right and the guy on the left I didn't recognize but maybe you will, he's Peter Facinelli. So I can't comment on him because I just don't know who he is but he does look kind of cute. I dunno though - I don't like beards or goatee's and etc. :)

SO that's it with my commentary. I'm done now. I have a LOT more saved on my computer but these were the ones I really thought most people would know who they are. So yeah, if you end up wanting more of my lame humor and sarcastic remarks maybe tell me and I will think about posting the rest of my lookalike collection. Also . . . I should do a post on my favorite actor of all time: Mickey Rooney. sigh.

Okay so . . . I'm done now!
bye!

Kaylla