i heard someone crying

i saw this play yesterday at the Hale. it was beautiful and wonderful. this is my favorite song. it gives me the chills...for some strange reason. the way they did this part was with these moving doorways and all three are wandering "the halls" but never see or meet each other. it was hauntingly beautiful.

the high soprano, the child's voice and the strong male...it's perfectly balanced and well done. just...beautiful. Thank you Papa Miller for inviting us to come with you and for the tickets. we all loved it so much. i wish i could watch it over and over again. i think i just might become as obsessed with the music as i did with Jekyll & Hyde.

i love musicals. they...they are very rejuvenating. ha, i know, strange word but really. i think it was just what i needed this week.

you should go see it if ever you get the chance.

hold my hand.

sometimes...there are moments in our life that make everything just, collide. everything in the universe just comes together in that one brief moment

and you're happy.

so happy that it's just....joyous. you feel the love for that person just overcoming you. you want to hold them and never let go. they are your best friend and you theirs and your wants and desires no longer matter because honestly...they are all in hoping and serving and helping their hopes and dreams come true, and it's beautiful because they feel the same way too...

and all you did...?

was finally hold his hand.

a surprise with a ride

that's my best friend for you.

yup, he would. he would come riding up on his motorcycle after making me think he'd already left. he came, just to say goodbye to me...like he said he would. like i thought he wouldn't be able to.

the silly...silly boy.

and that?

that is why i love him.

well, (: not just that.

In Memory

today my family went to the cemeteries in provo and orem to go visit my grandma. my best friend and i had gone on saturday to pick out the flowers. the day before was rainy and cold. but today? it was perfect, a day like those that my grandma loved.

we cleared the overgrowing grass from around the gravestones and told brief memories that we shared and loved. we walked about and commented on the designs of other graves. one had both a husband and a wife...and they were both still alive! another had a tree on it, that was very beautiful.

it is so peaceful in the cemetery. last tuesday {the 22nd}, seth and i went to the salem cemetery. it was so quiet and dark and peaceful. i hope we didn't disturb anyone there with our talking and occasional laughter. we found a card that had lost its grave. it was simple, but so sweet.

something about graves, the people gone and the people here now and the people someday to come...it's an incredible all-encompassing circle.

one funny moment from today. we were talking about parking the car and that word was stuck in my head, so when i asked where my great-grandparents were i asked "where are they parked?" instead of "where are they burried?" everyone seemed to find it quite humorous.

it made me sad though...i believe i missed my friend's goodbye. he's left today you see. he will be working this summer to pay for his mission up and away north of here. really far north. i miss him already, knowing that he isn't as close as he usually is. but my thoughts are reaching out to him, and i know that sometimes...we'll be thinking about one another at the same time. he is doing the right thing, and that makes everything so much better.

and maybe, someday...

things will turn out the way we hope.

i stood beside my grandpa's memory cross in the orem cemetery as well. i am so grateful for those who have served our country, including him.

without them, i wouldn't have the freedoms that i do have today. and watching the flag go up on the day of my high school graduation...it's incredible. it's beautiful. and i am eternally grateful to those men and women who have sacrificed their lives for it. i hope that i can honor them by being worthy of keeping it.

so happy memorial day. and may God bless you.

a story in pictures: graduation

stories in books are often boring without pictures. and since there's nothing much to tell about this story other than...it happened! i will show you my collages of it and hope you enjoy.

so...ONCE UPON A TIME...

THE END

or is it?

life is still beautiful

i know my last post was rather dramatic and depressing. but i promise you, that was one post and as of recently, my life has been filled with warm sunny spring days and happiness.

as of recent:

- i started the tedious process of finally getting my license (shocker!)

- there is no longer an odd scent about my room because it is pristine clean

- beautiful curtains were hung in my bedroom (pictures soon anyone?)

- speaking of pictures, my brothers gave me a camera for my birthday. seriously?

- i've started a collection of dizzy squares. i'm almost done though. cough.

- i have held bunny rabits. baby ones. so cute and fluffy! precious.

- played soccer on the most beautiful green grass

- thew grass at my friend and in their holey shirt. silly silly.

- finished the first quarter of my online health class (yay!)

- begun writing in my journal yet again. why did i ever stop? i've missed it.

- listened to wonderful music

- played the guitar

- oh and very, very wonderful... i have slept in!

just a taste of my life recently.

PS. did I mention i'm in love? maybe that's hard to believe because i've always been in love, with life, with people. but believe it or not...i am in love with him. i hope that you will meet him someday. maybe. maybe not. that's okay.

he's my best friend. and the whole world can know it - i love him.

with a teaspoon of love

at dinner one night a young girl asked her mom at the table; "mom, why does everything homemade taste better than pre-made food?"

the mother was beat to the answer when another one of her children, a younger brother quickly answered, "it's because mom adds love as a secret ingredient to everything she makes!"

i love this story...it's a real one too. a friend of mine's family.

makes me want to make a home cooked meal. {smile}

because let's face it. we love our chick-flicks.

jane eyre

stardust

{ps - i could probably quote this one to you. i did use it as an audition monologue one time after all. lovely isn't it? i think so.}

affair to remember

pride and prejudice

clicky on THIS LINK because every video clip i found of this scene was prohibited from embedding. gr. frustrating.

wives and daughters

Princess Bride

War and Peace

Tangled

i think that's enough for now, don't you? oozing sappiness right now.

yah. i like my chick-flicks.

Para-para-paradise

admit it. you wish you were me. and you wish you had had a late night dance under the stars to this song.

or maybe a song of your choice, but it was with the same guy {no maybe not exactly the same guy, because that'd be weird} but he was your image of prince charming. like this boy is to me. my knight. my hero. my friend...best friend.

who knows where the wind will blow us but this i know.

we will always be just that. friends.

saturday night was wonderful. a masquerade dance? not going to lie, it was magical. and the fact that it was stag? even better.

it may have ended on a song that cut like a knife in my chest but he made it all better. he took me far away and we danced under the stars to a new song, we made new memories, we lived in our own moment.

it was paradise.

{should've known.}

arms

arms...

that are strong

and sweet as sunshine.

gentle as a breeze

fortifying like a tree

with deep roots.

more careful

as if i were a child.

loving when i could

never understand.

the ambition of

a thousand souls

and patient...

for a heart that's been sewn

mis-matched together

again.

maybe...

it's not the arms

but the person

to whom they belong

and maybe...

because i love him too

he could hold me there

forever.

embrace.

have you ever thought about how beautiful a hug can be?

a hug from a friend who knows you have had a bad day.

that one tight squeeze just for kicks, but makes you warm and fuzzy anyway

the hug that lingers longer than anyone else thinks is comfortable, but you never want to let go.

hugs that end with arms still touching, or his hands on her waist.

simple moments where nothing seems to say it, but that hug.

good days made fantastic by them.

hugs that lift you into the air with excitement

then those kind that kind of just...hold you together when everything else, falls apart.

happiness is the hug of a friend, a best friend. and...

...it's beautiful.

{post script: photo borrowed from this wonderful girl's blog}

beautiful moments {part two}

someday we'll have little ones of our own. until then, i admire the beauty of this girl and her niece. the beauty of children, the purity that they represent, that they are.

hoping that you will read this someday ...and know that i was thinking of you. thinking of the future. thinking of how i wish my children would have your brown eyes and my curly hair, your laugh and my smile...and hopefully both of our musical abilities combined. i know that someday... they're beautiful.

can you imagine it? i can...a warm home, i will keep it clean and nice smelling for you. you will be a true father, kind and gentle...and faithful. always faithful. we'll teach them to read and write, sing and dance. we'll teach them right from wrong and about the constitution and the rights that God has given us. i'll do my best always to be a good cook...

please forgive me when i burn dinner?

i picture us when we first start out, eyes wide open to this world full of opportunities, later when life has been set rolling and we are both very tired, and someday...when we are old and gray, and you still tell me that i am beautiful...and you will always be the most handsome man in my life.

it's my beautiful moment right now...

i can see it so clearly. can you?

beautiful moments {part one}

snow falling steadily, father and son were shoveling the snow off the driveway. the father would go first and then the little boy would follow after him getting what little snow he could with his play shovel. he could barely lift it off the ground by the end of each length they went.

the mother stood inside, in the warmth of the house holding another little one, a newborn little girl. the candle on the window sill left the gentlest glow. She smiled at her small son trying to imitate the strong actions of her beloved husband.

father looked up and at the window and seeing his two girls standing there smiled and waved. the hard work to clear the snow and the frigid cold was worth seeing that beautiful picture. his mind and heart took a picture and then continued on with the work, with his growing son at his side.