afternoon thoughts

last night a song went through my head about the fire on the mountain. there was a fire there once before when i was a child. those were scary memories to relive as i watched. i could see the flames even from as far away as i am.

why am i so afraid?

i go to work for real for the first time in an hour and a half. {thanks to our opening date being pushed back twice and my shift rescheduled almost as often...} but i don't want to go...because i may not be home for his phone call. my heart aches and i wish it were already saturday.

praying because the storm has moved north that he doesn't get rained on.

what kind of dreams does my dog have?

sometimes there are treasures to be found in the freezer...which maybe you weren't meant to find...but are still there and get found...such as cookies'n'cream ice cream. heaven.

i should eat a real meal before i go to work though.

will i finally get fat if i work at a restaurant?

the day-dream that keeps my heart alive right now: someday, maybe...reading out loud during a rainy sunday afternoon. i'm wrapped up in his arms and as we slowly fall asleep from the each other's body heat the words begin to slur and the world is lost to us.

really should be either finishing personal progress or my food handler's permit now...not blogging.


my young woman's leader brought by an extra girl's camp hoodie for me. i love her. and the hoodie.


will i still have nightmares when someday i am married to my best friend?

i love the song "little house" by amanda seyfried. still don't know how to say her last name...

today it rained. it was really beautiful. it rained on this day a year ago too. rather an odd {and wet} coincidence.

fear. it's an odd thing. we can be afraid of so many things but still go on. life always goes on. "time heals all wounds" kind of deal. we just have to trust that that is true and take one day at a time until it all washes away...like the rain.

my desire to write a letter to someone is very strong. anyone want one?

would you rather be paralyzed, blind, or deaf?

what if literal darkness could affect our internal darkness, the parts of ourselves that no one sees. would we then become different people if constantly surrounded by darkness? like jekyll & hyde... could one of them take control?

and what about light?