Never Gonna Change for You

In a way this post is about standards. Each LDS girl growing up hears about them wherever she goes, church, home, mutual, friends - we've all got the concept down packed. But when do we actually think about them? I certainly never did much until recently. I guess it's the situation that I actually like a guy since I turned 16, which when I first turned I wasn't really interested in anyone or in dating for the reason of really getting to know a guy. It was all just fun and would end within the week type of thing.

I had an interesting experience at our last school dance that can help explain where I'm going with this. I was asked to slow dance by one of my guyfriends and he made the comment that he may be too tall, I didn't understand until he started dancing with me in that way where a guys hands are on the girl's waist her hers are on his shoulders. Red flags flared up and I asked him if we could dance in the old fashioned way, he agreed and we had tons of fun, even purposefully running into people - it was hilarious. But later that night I began to wonder to myself; "Kaylla if the guy you liked had started dancing with you like that - would you ask him to switch? You aren't attracted to that other guy but you're attracted this guy . . . is it different?"

I talked to my mom about it and she agreed with me that I should make some rules to myself so that in situations like that I will be able to have something firm to remember.

More conflicts always come. My old best friend (we're still friends, just maybe not as close as last year) has been making really good friends with the guy I like and I asked my mom (she's my confidant in most of these kinds of things) if I should try harder to let the guy know that I like him and I want him to ask me out, because in a way I felt that my friend was trying to flirt with the guy I like. She told me two things. "What would Christ do?" and "Ask God to send your way whatever needs to happen, and it will."

She's such a wise mom. I love her :D

So often I'm told that nothing in High School is real. But the practice tests I take in Math class aren't quite real either - but they still really help, and the scores and the way I understand concepts are still very real. High School is like a practice test. It's how we learn what we need to improve upon and what we're doing well in.

I hope the Lord sends the best for me my way - because that will ultimately make me the happiest I can be, rather than forever searching only for what I want, rather than what I need.

I kind of think the song by the Gardiner Sisters - My Way Or the Highway - really applies and it's actually where I got the title of this post. No matter how much I like a guy, I'm never going to change myself to fit him. One day there will be a man who won't have to change himself to fit me and who I won't have to change myself to fit - we'll just fit naturally together, like my brother and sister-in-law. I just have to wait patiently. :)

Kaylla