"No Name"

You know how in elementary school (and sometimes even after that of course) when you turn in your assignment and forget to put a name? Well have you ever known a kid to do that on purpose? Nah - neither have I. Oh well. Maybe I will some day.

So I have a boy in mind - who will be our No Name for now I guess. It's not that I like him even specifically - I just don't want to be teased if my thoughts on this person are misconstrued. If you know me well enough you'll find out who it is but good for me I only know the well enough peoples well enough and that's good enough for me. ;)

So I was surprised that physically he was everything I imagine myself being attracted to - but I wasn't. In fact for the majority of knowing him so far - I've been rather annoyed by him. Just an attitude problem I thought. Then I realized - guys play cool.

I noticed something today - well put it into words I guess. He's a sensitive person. I now consider him a friend - have been considering him a friend now for about two days I think? I haven't seen his sensitivity up close yet but . . . you know when you're talking to a guy and he seems reserved or closed in - or in this guy's case - acting overly cool? I think he's just hiding the fact that he too can be easily hurt. He's the person I mentioned in my last post was "searching for friendship".

I really was annoyed and even called him names at home a couple of times after initially meeting him. He seemed proud and jock-ish and glum and depressed and never seemed to look like he enjoyed anything. Luckily I have a friend (who tends to . . . sway on me - see previous post) who gave me another angle > he just wants friends and people to like him. So for the past two days now I think, I've been . . . almost friendly. He was probably even one of the first to . . . y'know - react to me. Strange way of putting it.

The sneers the sarcastic remarks . . . was he really just trying to find a friend? Someone who he could tease and trying to get to know?

I hope I'm not reading into anything (knowing me I am and I should stop right now before I go WAY too far) which would mean STOP TYPING RIGHT NOW. But what do you do when your boat is miles off sea and yes you know you're in danger but . . . how do you get out of it but weather the storm?

Bad analogy. :D

We'll see what happens with this friend. I hope we're friends. I see him as such - is that weird? Hope not, because past the "facade" he is beginning to look and feel like someone who I could understand.

Like I said - we'll see. But hey - he nearly sang with us in the hall (except he had to go) and if I a guy is willing to do that then how bad could he be? (pretty bad . . .) haha!

Love you all!

KAYLLA the KROKODILE

PS - the picture is kind of symbolic I guess - dunno how but it felt that way to me picking it! You choose a meaning ;)