Hm? What Did You Say?

I wonder what it would be like to be deaf. My friend Nicole's dad is blind and once when I went to dinner

with her family after the General Young Wom

en's Conference, we decided that I would pretend to be blind, try to make

other people think so at least. It was a ton of fun. :) A lot of awkwardly standing around but when I honestly made myself believe that I couldn't see anything that I really could see...it wasn't awkward. It was an adventure.

But then imagine, all the tiny little sounds that you take for granted, the typing of the keyboard, the whirring of a fan, the sneeze down in the kitchen, the sound of you moving your feet or scratching your ear...all of it? Gone.

I've also always wanted to be able to communicate in Sign Language. I know a handful of words and the alphabet (although I always forget what "P" and "Q" are) haha. I think it would be cool to be able to communicate to someone and not have anyone else around you understand, or to be able to communicate a whole conversation...silently. Wouldn't that be weird to have a silent argument? I think I would prefer it actually. I've always hated yelling...just like I've always loved music and the piano...

That's one thing I don't think I could handle about being deaf. Music. Music is my life, especially now that my life is changing, oftentimes I resort to my music to either determine or change my mood. Oftentimes if I'm talking to a friend and I'm in a good mood - there is country music playing. If I'm feeling romantic...I might play slower country...or Down by Jay Sean (the acoustic version), or if I'm feeling angry I might listen to a song that may have a rougher beat. On Sundays or...quite honestly, rough days like today, I will listen to the music that I feel the most comfortable with, most at home with; and that's David Tolk.

Ever since I was little my mom would play his CD Mendh

am and I know those songs by heart. When I hear Clearwater I think of hiding away quietly behind the couch in the front living room and just staring at the sunlight falling on the coffee table. Just sitting there...I always felt more safe and comfortable when I was closed in. I am definitely not claustrophobic. :) It kind of reminds me the famous autistic woman, Temple Grandin and her Hug Machine. Music is my hug machine. I think that if I couldn't hear the music...the music of life, the piano, the violin and the cello...I would simply waste away in morbid silence

So a silent world, a blessing or a curse? I believe God knows exactly what He is doing, so it would always be a blessing. That's why he didn't make me deaf :) otherwise he would have made the first curse. Haha, anyway - for once a post completely focused on what matters to me and what will never lie to me.

Oh! Have I ever mentioned how music, life and sound all have one thing in common? Vibration. I've heard that some deaf people still listen to music (especially harder beats and louder) because they can feel the vibrations and the beats. If I HAD to be deaf, I would never st

op the beat. Life IS motion, it IS vibration. Life is Music. Life is Sound. Life to me...it is being...Life is being music. So in a really weird and round-about way...I am music. :)

Night everybody,

Kaylla