i had a really bad day today. i've been blaming myself for a lot of things which may or may not be my fault but honestly...and i really mean honestly; i think they are. i'm not sure how sane i will be by the end of this week.
oh but sidethought - happy birthday lilly. lo. i love you. always have, even when i get mad at you, i still love you.
which segways into some of my thoughts, the ones i'm blaming myself about. which will make no sense to you but that's okay. the only reason i'm even going to let myself post this post is because i'm really, really trying to get this other point out.
i'm going to write a book.
no, you're not in it and no you may not know any more about it. just a book. but i've always heard that you need to write about what you know. and finally...today it clicked.
and i know, i'm sure you are thinking "well that's going to be a boring book..." {and honestly those were my thoughts too} but y'know what? that's okay. i didn't say i was going to get it published. just write it. i need to write it. maybe finally then...it will all be over. my doubts, my hurts.
i don't think i can even tell you the title {i know, i'm fast, i already got that. and most of the story/plot too mind you.}, too much of a spoiler.
but this is how i want to dedicate it:
to those who know that in order to write a good book, you can only write about what you know...or what you, nor anybody else knows a whit about. or both.
and y'know what? this book idea...it makes me happy. i thought i'd lost it. i thought i would never try to write again, even if it was on my bucket list.
so here goes nothing.
oh but sidethought - happy birthday lilly. lo. i love you. always have, even when i get mad at you, i still love you.
which segways into some of my thoughts, the ones i'm blaming myself about. which will make no sense to you but that's okay. the only reason i'm even going to let myself post this post is because i'm really, really trying to get this other point out.
i'm going to write a book.
no, you're not in it and no you may not know any more about it. just a book. but i've always heard that you need to write about what you know. and finally...today it clicked.
and i know, i'm sure you are thinking "well that's going to be a boring book..." {and honestly those were my thoughts too} but y'know what? that's okay. i didn't say i was going to get it published. just write it. i need to write it. maybe finally then...it will all be over. my doubts, my hurts.
i don't think i can even tell you the title {i know, i'm fast, i already got that. and most of the story/plot too mind you.}, too much of a spoiler.
but this is how i want to dedicate it:
to those who know that in order to write a good book, you can only write about what you know...or what you, nor anybody else knows a whit about. or both.
and y'know what? this book idea...it makes me happy. i thought i'd lost it. i thought i would never try to write again, even if it was on my bucket list.
so here goes nothing.
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