Clouds

I don't know if I've written about clouds before but I thought of something intelligent: Clouds are so beautiful the day after it rains. And that's the silver lining. Because on a rainy day you really can't see the silver lining but the day after or the evening when it's sunset . . . sometime magical happens in the clouds. They're pure and clean and . . . good. It's one of the most beautiful things!

Now for the moral. Rainy days I would normally connect with trials - so that's what I'm going to use. Choose your own trial or hard time when you could only see the rain clouds I guess but mine was last year when my parents got divorced. But the silver lining still came. The rain cleaned up our lives and my parents got remarried to each other! It's one of those success stories and I'm so happy and grateful for it.

At first when I was still in the storm I was so bitter and angry and it was probably the roughest time in my life. I should probably explain that that rough time started about a year ago from now. Now a year later, the clouds are so beautiful, the light shining through the edges and my whole sky is just full of God's grace and love. His Son's light.

It took a year for me to get out of the habit of hating myself and leaning on what people thought of me. I hated how I looked, I hated how I felt, I hated boys, and I hated girls, I hated sunlight, I hated rain, and I especially hated and was cynical towards marriage (trying to get out of the habit of saying I'll never marry) :P

It's taken me so long to get to where I am right now, but I have to say - I feel so happy inside. I feel loved and I love others. I miss my old home and moving twice in one year has made it hard to find some things and I get frustrated but it's all working out. I'm so in love with life right now.

Sure there are the little setbacks, girls and their high school years are like the Atlantic ocean, you never know when they're going to have a mood swing! But overall . . . it's all good. Nobody has been thrown overboard from my boat. :)

I am just so grateful for my wonderful life and like (one of my new favorite songs) Lady A's song - I'm "Ready To Love Again."


KAYLLA