decisions.

it usually comes down to this: a decision.
everything in life requires decisions.

so why am i so bad at them?

someday i will have to make a decision.
a very hard one.
we all have to eventually.
and we can't take turns with this one.
it's completely up to that one person.

and talking to my mom about some decisions last night
she was completely honest with me.
they are meant to be hard.

otherwise they would be easy.

and then where would the fun be in life?
{oh i dunno...}

but to tell myself the truth?
i don't want certain decisions to come.

i want to stay awake at night till the sun rises sometimes
i want money and jobs to be more easy to come by
i want to live in a nation that isn't so blind
i want the next two years to completely change me
and yet not change us at all.
oh, and i really want Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit to be PG.

i know. wishful thinking. it got no one anywhere.

only decisions get people moving.

i'm just scared that one day,
i will have to make a decision between my heart
and the world i have always lived in.
and no matter which one i choose, i lose something
a part of who i have become.

decisions.