and i'm still in shock.

in my mind...i have always had a five year plan. pretty much at least. i knew where i was going. and if i was unsure - i figured it out in my head and let things happen.

today that changed. God took control of the car i thought i was supposed to be driving. sister missionaries can now serve at the age of nineteen, and that's only six months away for me now.

at first...i'll admit. i was scared. i'm not ready. what about school. suddenly the two years of my life that i was wishing were already gone...were. {careful what you wish for, right?} and while everyone around me was celebrating, i felt like i was a little johnny raincloud, still uncertain of her future.

and honestly, i'm not sure what i'm going to do just yet. i know three things though. i have been taking mission prep for a reason. my brother is right - i have to go because i want to, not for anyone else. and finally...like bro. newman said in mission prep - for sister missionaries, the Lord will let me know what the right path for me is.

all of the implications this forces into my head are....mind-blowing. here i was, having to have to wait six months after my best friend seth even got home from his mission and now...he and i may be serving at the same time, and if i were to go the month after my birthday, i'd still be home before him. crazy-sauce.

it's kind of funny too...the more i think about it, the more my mom and i talk about it, it feels like the more things are simply falling into place.

when i came home after listening to the second session up the canyon with a group of friends, i sat down and talked to my mom. and once i was finally able to talk it through with her. i cried. and i laughed at the same time! that's never happened to me before. and it was wonderful.

again, i'm not sure what will happen. but i trust the Lord. and regardless...i am so very, very excited.