Sunday, August 12, 2012


today i went to one of my brother's best friend's homecoming. their family and my family used to have gospel discussions on our back porch. his dad was my sunday-school teacher twice and his sister, was one of my best and only friends during those years living there.

and so we went back today, after nearly two years {for me at least}. and it was crazy how easy it was to talk to some people, and how ridiculously hard it was to talk to others {still}. when we moved i was so confused and angry, i think i blamed it on anything and everything and i forgot that it wasn't their fault. so i'm sorry.

it was strange being able to talk to one kid who i know {back in the day}, he liked me...and honestly, i really liked him too {even if he was a bit rude and teased me and flirted in a way i didn't understand}. but talking to him and my other friends today, being able to finally have let myself grow up, become happy...

it was wonderful.

i felt free and relaxed and confident {most of the time}. and i'm not really sure why i was ever nervous to visit them. maybe we all really have just grown up a bit. maybe people do change for the better. and maybe we make judgments and never bother to fix them, and end up living our lives in the darkness of bitterness. and i'm sorry.

and i'm so glad that he's back from his mission. and i'm glad i've finally learned to let go. and i'm really glad the people i was dreading to see weren't even there. and i'm glad to have made new friends in people is didn't like, and remembered friends in old ones.

it was a lovely experience.

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