life's rough. and then you die.

this is kind of how i feel right now.

working almost full time is really difficult.

i like being in school better and am very sad not to be going back in the fall.

this young lady will be missing the smell of dinky textbooks

i feel like sometimes the physical stress of work makes everything so much harder to cope with

family, friends, boys, my own faults...any problem is magnified out of my control.

and i like being in control of my life.

probably not much of a good thing.

and i should work on that thing called "trusting fully in the Lord's will"

because He's ultimately the only one who has always and will always be there for me.

no matter how much i love and trust all those around me, sometimes they let you down.

but He won't.

and i feel peace in that.

i feel peace in the fact that He will be with me these next few years, whatever happens.

you never know what will come your way...or what will be taken away.

and i am fully prepared to handle all of it. as long as He is with me.

and that's not really a question. He's always been there for me.

so yes, life is hard...but death isn't so bad now is it?

personally, i wouldn't mind it. i even occasionally think of good ways to pop off.

yes, i'm weird. we have already established that.