small enough

at summer seminary yesterday i learned that god made caleb's army as small as 300 men against 10,000 - simply so that he could prove that it was not by themselves that they won, but because of god's own strength.

in my mind {the teacher didn't ask us to do this but 9 years of going to AHS - force of habit i guess to 4R} i applied it to my own life. god has taken away my home, my friends almost continually since two years ago - when my parents got divorced. it's just kind of shocking how small he has made me, but still i have been able to, and will be able to come through - because just like caleb's army, god will take care of those who are faithful.

so i'm grateful that god has the love for me, enough to make me as small and weak as i most possibly can be - because there is no other way that i can gain that which was promised me. caleb was promised the land ruled by those giants - and my patriarchal blessing has promised me specific things as well.

it really hurts to be so weak, small and alone...but like tevye says in fiddler on the roof - being so poor, things can only get better for me.

-kaylla