"Do you think there are Butterflies in Heaven? . . ."

Hi!

So recently I watched a movie with my mom and sister titled The Ultimate Gift (I HIGHLY reccommend it by the way) and I just thinking of the part when she is talking to Jason about butterflies. They're so beautiful . . . and as I think is mentioned in the movie - I think God paints them especially with his fingertips. And I was thinking some more . . . it's like blessings. God gives us little "Butterflies" through our weeks and years of life, doesn't He. I just found that really neat.

Yesterday I went to a funeral . . . I've only been to two other funerals, the first of some guy who gave a lot of money to my school and the second my grandma. Oh wait I've been to one other - a friend of my brother's who died in an accident - anyway. This funeral was hard and special at the same time. For the first time in my life I knew after experiencing death that he was okay - I believed God was there, holding him and I just knew in my heart that he was at peace at last. He was the dad of one very good friend and he was a church teacher of mine twice in my life. He was always so insightful and one of the few people who I talked to who I learned something from - sure you have those teachers who go over the stuff, read the lesson, get it over and done with - but he was special. He was a master teacher.

Seeing him in the casket before the funeral at the viewing I realized that just like it had been with my Grandma, it didn't look like him; aside from the effects of the cancer he'd had (he had lost his hair) he . . . didn't look like him. I know this should sound disrespectful but it's not meant to be - but he looked almost plastic. That wasn't his smile. His smile was MUCH MUCH brighter, much more loving and alive. I realized that this was just more proof that he really had found peace in Paradise.

When they took his body out of the Chapel I looked up. There was just such a close . . . feeling . . . of aching but then . . . joy. Pure joy. Ecstacy, but then pain at the same time. I looked up half expecting to see angels just lifting up my friend's family and helping the pallbearers through the doors with the casket. It was very sad and then . . . happy.

You won't be surprised about what I tell you next :) There was a display of his life on some tables and when it got to after his married life apparently before his wife's 40'th birhtday she had mentioned that she didn't think he had anymore butterflies (smiling) in his stomach when he saw her anymore. Well . . . her birthday came around and the day of - he decorated the entire house with butterflies, felt and wire ones . . . the one on the table was pink and just so pretty. It was a "butterfly" (if you catch my drift . . .) because for so long I've been looking for some kind of love that doesn't end. God gave me just what I needed to hear just then.

Well . . . enough for now . . . I am still enrolled in school and it's usually not a good practice to totally not care about your grades (cough like me) . . . (not because I hate knowledge or learning or anything - I just hate the feeling of school and busy-body school work and conveyor-belt-education . . . oh gosh must talk about Education on a later time when I don't have math homework haha)

So.

I really wanted just to say how grateful I am right now for my friends. If it weren't for them and their support I'd probably die. Like Brittani. She has been like a lifeline for me. My friends are my butterflies, specifically given to me by the Lord.

Anyway. Enough about me.

Love you ALL!!! (literally) (I don't think I could hate anybody . . .)

more later when I know what to do with this blog (of many . . .)(don't ask me to define "many"). I still haven't decided completely what I'll put here.

Again I love you!

Adios!